1. Unusual syllable emphasis:
- a. First syllable: T-v, Trans-mission, di-nosaurs
- b. Middle syllable: Ham-burg-er, muni-cip-al
- c. Final syllable: Per-mit, Broad-way, i-Pod
2. British pronunciation: standard – pri-va-cy, sche-dule, con-trov-ersy, tiss-ue, de-cade
3. British pronunciation: affected – thes-aurus
4. Inflected “-ed” suffixes: mark-ed, pronounc-ed, prefer-ed
5. Inflected vowel beginnings: a-ffect, e-ffect
6. Mispronunciation suggesting blatant misunderstanding of idiomatic speech patterns
- a. “You are the epi-tome” of students.”
- b. “We seem to be having some dif-fic-ulty with this here wrench.”
- c. Incorrect “combat” inflections: “To com-bat this pestilence” vs. “Marines engaged in street com-bat.”
- d. Incorrect inflections of "august": "I will leave in Au-gust" vs. "The presentation was rather "aug-ust."
- e. “The students experienced cath-arsis.”
- f. "Now available in your grocer's prod-uce section..."
- g. "That guy is a hom-o."
7. Regional dialect
- a. Upstate New York: creek/crick, roof(rhymes with woof), route/root
- b. Mid-Atlantic: water/wooder, folder/foder
- c. Other: added "-r" sound: Warshington, strawr, idear, al-Qaedar
8. Metathesis
- a. ask --> ax
- b. foliage --> foilage
- c. nuclear --> nucular
II. Neologisms
1. Lexical contributions
- a. Osmote (v.)
- b. Sarcast, as in "the collective sarcast"
- c. Autonarcolepsy
2. The Portmanteau
- a. Standard portmanteau: manicule, snowvanist, alcobooze, malaziness
- b. Compound portmanteau: poolskinnyhopping
3. The Spoonerism
III. Prefixes and Suffixes
1. Prefix
- a. Unorthodox prefixes to create new meaning: enthusiastic/athusiastic, entwined/betwined/extwined/atwined
2. Suffix
- a. Unorthodox suffixes to create new meaning: "foodn't," as in the opposite of a "foodie"
- b. Archaic feminine suffixes: bartendrix
- c. "-ist" instead of "-er": "I'm a drummist."
- d. "-er" instead of "-ist": "She's an exhibitioner."
- e. Adding "-ist" to create new nouns; generally for practitioners of a specific skill or occupation : "Besides being such a fine religionist, Miss Crawley..." (Thackeray, Vanity Fair); "homosexualist," (Frank, Unfriendly Fire)
IV. The Article
Definite
1. Unnecessary addition
- a. Groups: “He spoke before the Congress.”
- b. Sports: “Oh, he plays the Frisbee.”
- c. Countries: “So you’re going to the France?”
- d. Disciplines: “They’re studying the biology at school.”
- e. With possesive: "He served honorably in the America's armed forces."
2. Omission (British): – going to hospital, university, seminary
3. Omission (affected) – “going to grocery store/bar/taqueria,” etc.
Indefinite
1. Improper usage (dissonance for effect) – “He’s a asshole.”
2. Specificity within a multitude: “May I have a lettuce.”
3. Specificity defying expectation: “Try the fish and a chip.”
4. Improper agreement (possibly replacing adjective): “And a French fries, please.”
V. Verbs
1. Usage
- a. Misuse
2. Disusage
- a. Dropped Verb: "They retarded," Where the elevator at?"
- b. Verb Implicit (infinitive replaced by article): "I'm a call you."
VI. Pronouns
1. Demonstrative Pronouns
- a. Inversion (occurring after subject): Friday this, Saturday that
- b. Pejorative usage: "You stay away from that Mike Smith..."
2. Personal possessive pronoun
a. "I can't wake-up until I've had My coffee."
3. Second person pronoun, used pejoratively
a."You people are always complaining..."
VII. Spelling
1. Indicating dialect: Oh hai!, Priv-ah-see
2. British spelling
a. Practise, colour
3. Intentional misspelling for effect
a. Dumm (with two m's)
VIII. Known grammatical errors
1. Split infinitive
2. Dangling participles
3. Adverbs galore
4. Prepositional chain
5. Non-parallel construction
6. Verbal calamity: “Things are not as they be to seem.”
